Published August 15 2023
Whether you find yourself in a caring role out of love or obligation, it can certainly come with its challenges.
It’s not easy to see loved ones, relatives or friends suffering so of course, we unconditionally support them the best we can. But often, it’s at the expense of our own health, the sacrifice of our own freedom or at the cost of our mental health and happiness.
With each knock down and difficult moment, we learn to be incredibly resilient as we keep pushing through carer responsibilities. But one thing is for sure: when our focus is everywhere else but on ourselves, we don’t always notice the physical and mental stress that is draining our body.
If you have found yourself having more aches and pains than usual or getting teary in the most casual of moments, here is an effective pathway to become unstuck and really empower yourself into a better sense of wellbeing.
1. HONOUR YOURSELF – SLOW DOWN (awareness phase)
It’s a very human response to feel like you must keep going to stay in control, but slowing down helps us to come back into our awareness. It’s the only way we can reach our rational brain and ask ourselves “What am I feeling, what do I need?”
2. EMPOWER YOURSELF – SEEK HELP (action phase)
Empowerment is asking ourselves “What can I let go of, how can I free myself?” and taking action to find supports and new information.
The caring role can be an extremely isolating experience for many of us, but remember, there is help available. You don’t have to do it all alone and asking for help isn’t a sign of failure. Find out what you can delegate and create a supportive team.
3. NURTURE YOURSELF – COUNSELLING/SELF CARE (surrender phase)
Give yourself the compassion you deserve and permission for self-care. Talk to a counsellor and release all those built-up feelings. You will feel lighter again and likely find the clarity to move forward.
4. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF – COACHING (plan/rebuild phase)
After releasing your emotional heaviness, you’ll be in a much better space to create plans and make changes happen.
Coaching guides you towards your goals and rebuilds your confidence, supporting you to better manage your time and implement healthy practices. A coach can even help you create a plan to return work or study, or just find an activity you love so you can start to feel like you again.
Many carers have reported coaching was the missing ingredient that really made the difference in balancing out their caring situation.
5. REFUEL YOURSELF – CONNECT/ENGAGE (maintenance phase)
Now that you have shifted what was feeling stuck and made the changes you needed to restore balance, it’s time to maintain it. This can look like regular planned respite, carer events and day outings, or just reconnecting with family and friends.
It’s so important to get out there, to rediscover feelings of joy and to feed your soul by doing things that you love. Think of this as the vitamins that keep you feeling happy, strong and resilient, so you can better manage the hard stuff in your caring role.
Find out how you can access carer coaching at www.coaching.carergateway.gov.au
This article can also be found in the Spring edition of The Caring Way, read more: www.bit.ly/TCW4